Today was a little strange. Not sure why, but my mood was a little funky. It's kind of hard to explain, but sometimes strange moods can lead to strange events. And today's strange event lead me to some new reflections and realizations.
I did not want to go to school today. I'm not sure why, it was a pretty easy day to tell the truth. I guess I was just homesick. All day long, I wanted be home. I wanted peace, quiet, rest, comfort. But, I was stuck. There was work to do. So, at luch I decided to get away from the noise and eat luch at sonic. I sat in my car with the radio off and just read a book. It was wonderful. When luch was over, I put my car in gear and took off. Auto pilot. Next thing I knew, I was almost to the highway headed home! It was a jarring experience. I had only been driving a few minutes, but my last conscious thought was the fact that it was time to go back to work. So, how did I end up on the highway headed home? I guess my subconscious REALLY wanted to go home! It's kind of funny, and I think we can all relate.
We've all done it. We're busy. we're lost in thought. We're making lists. We're replaying events. We're daydreaming. We're somewhere else. All of the sudden, we're there! Only, we don't remember how we got there, because we were stuck somewhere in between. Practice and habit seem to have taken over. Auto pilot. We're here, but how? Why? I know I've written about how we get too busy and lose focus. But sometimes it isn't just about being busy. We can lose focus just as easily when we're idle. We are flesh. Sometimes, we just want to take it easy. We don't want to have to do the hard work. We want to take the day off, and just rest. We want to go home. Because home is peace, love, comfort, rest, etc. Home is where we are free to be ourselves.
I'm not suggesting that longing for home is a bad thing. But when we get stuck on auto pilot, we allow our subconscious to deliver us to places we are not intended to be. My desire to go home today wasn't the problem. The problem, was that I let it consume me. I let it take me away from where I was. And where I was, was work. There was work to do. But, I wasn't there. I know it sounds strange, but follow me. We are called to be disciples on Earth. I'm not sure if you realized it, but being a disciple was work! It was rough. They were sent to spread the message of Christ in hostile places. They faces sickness, trials, and hardships. I know they were tired. But they didn't let their desires for rest take them away from the work they had to do. They could live in the present, because they lived in faith. A faith that promises rest when we are weary. Rest, when the work is done.
I hope you can see through my mess and hear the message. We all long for home. Not our Earthly homes, but our heavenly ones. But there is much to do before we get there. And, we can't do His work, if we're not present. I was blessed by my little wake up call today. In fact, my afternoon classes went great, and my mood was greatly transformed. I was there, and it's where I was intended to be. And when I got home, I had a greater appreciation for the rest it brought. Work isn't always fun. It's not always easy, and often drains us mentally and physically. But after the work is rest. A rest that is sufficient. A rest that takes away our need for auto pilot!
Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.—Ephesians 4:28
Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.—Proverbs 18:9
All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. Proverbs 14:23
As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work.
John 9:4
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Have you heard
It's midnight, on a school night, and here I am. I can't sleep, bcause my mind is stuck in overdrive. So, I'm waving the white flag. I'm going to get it out in pursuit of the peace that follows.
I heard a good sermon today. Maybe that's not the right way to describe it. I didn't just hear a good sermon. It was more than sound waves and vibrations leading to neuron's firing and word recognition. It was more than showing up and receiving the message. I heard it. It wasn't merely a presentation of scriptures meant to teach a lesson. It was real. The words more more than language, they were alive. And they affected me deeply. Enough so, that they have consumed my thoughts all day, and led me here.
The lesson was based on the Sermon on the Mount. I can tell you what the lesson was supposed to be about, but that wouldn't really matter, because it lead me somewhere entirely different. It kind of amazing really. How one spoken word can trasform into something unique to each of us. The spirit within guides us to the place we need to be. And for me, I needed to go back. To the beginning. Not "THE" beginning. But, to the place of my rebirth. Most of you who know me, know that my blessings are infinite. I live a very charmed life. The white picket fence and 2.5 children are more than a fairy tale for me. I live through the gift of Grace. It's easy for me to shout Jesus from the rooftops, because I don't know adversity. So, I go back.
The past...whew...not exactly my favorite place. I, like so many others, made some pretty epic mistakes. Mistakes that scar in places that never show, and seem like they'll never heal. I, like so many others, tried to fill spiritual voids with physical matter. The harder we try to fill those voids, the farther we fall. Deeper into anger, shame, and hopelessness. One of my favorite songs right now is called "Beautiful" by Mercy Me. The opening verse says this:
The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
I think we've all been there. In that place of fear and uncertainty. Wanting to reach out, but guarding ourselves from rejection. Today's sermon took me back to the place where I let go. The place where I surrendered my understanding in return for Grace. The place where Christ's love was shared with me. As a recipient of that blessing, how can I not share that same blessing in return. I know this entry is a little scattered. It is certainly a good representation of my head right now! I'm not really sure where this post is leading.But I know that I'm being lead place where I can't sit idly. So often we accept defeat before the battle is waged. We are so afraid of failure or of doing something wrong that we choose to do nothing. We all remember our pasts, and we allow those memories to keep us from being Jesus now. "With all the mistakes I've made, who will ever listen to me?" right??? But that's just it. Because of those mistakes, we can understand the gift of grace. Because of those mistakes, we can connect with others who are living in the same dark shadows where we once lived. Because the love of Christ was shared with us, we can share it in turn. Because we have been forgiven of our pasts, we can help show others the future. We can't wait until we are perfect to share His message, because that day will never come. We can be the hands, and feet, and heart of Christ on his Earth now. We are called to be His disciples now. The present. Here...the place where the past has lead you. Wherever that may be.
I heard a good sermon today. Maybe that's not the right way to describe it. I didn't just hear a good sermon. It was more than sound waves and vibrations leading to neuron's firing and word recognition. It was more than showing up and receiving the message. I heard it. It wasn't merely a presentation of scriptures meant to teach a lesson. It was real. The words more more than language, they were alive. And they affected me deeply. Enough so, that they have consumed my thoughts all day, and led me here.
The lesson was based on the Sermon on the Mount. I can tell you what the lesson was supposed to be about, but that wouldn't really matter, because it lead me somewhere entirely different. It kind of amazing really. How one spoken word can trasform into something unique to each of us. The spirit within guides us to the place we need to be. And for me, I needed to go back. To the beginning. Not "THE" beginning. But, to the place of my rebirth. Most of you who know me, know that my blessings are infinite. I live a very charmed life. The white picket fence and 2.5 children are more than a fairy tale for me. I live through the gift of Grace. It's easy for me to shout Jesus from the rooftops, because I don't know adversity. So, I go back.
The past...whew...not exactly my favorite place. I, like so many others, made some pretty epic mistakes. Mistakes that scar in places that never show, and seem like they'll never heal. I, like so many others, tried to fill spiritual voids with physical matter. The harder we try to fill those voids, the farther we fall. Deeper into anger, shame, and hopelessness. One of my favorite songs right now is called "Beautiful" by Mercy Me. The opening verse says this:
The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
I think we've all been there. In that place of fear and uncertainty. Wanting to reach out, but guarding ourselves from rejection. Today's sermon took me back to the place where I let go. The place where I surrendered my understanding in return for Grace. The place where Christ's love was shared with me. As a recipient of that blessing, how can I not share that same blessing in return. I know this entry is a little scattered. It is certainly a good representation of my head right now! I'm not really sure where this post is leading.But I know that I'm being lead place where I can't sit idly. So often we accept defeat before the battle is waged. We are so afraid of failure or of doing something wrong that we choose to do nothing. We all remember our pasts, and we allow those memories to keep us from being Jesus now. "With all the mistakes I've made, who will ever listen to me?" right??? But that's just it. Because of those mistakes, we can understand the gift of grace. Because of those mistakes, we can connect with others who are living in the same dark shadows where we once lived. Because the love of Christ was shared with us, we can share it in turn. Because we have been forgiven of our pasts, we can help show others the future. We can't wait until we are perfect to share His message, because that day will never come. We can be the hands, and feet, and heart of Christ on his Earth now. We are called to be His disciples now. The present. Here...the place where the past has lead you. Wherever that may be.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Finding the Perfect Fit
This morning was nothing out of the ordinary. It happens to me all of the time. But, for some reason, today it made me think. The suspense is killing you I'm sure. Ok, so here goes...I couldn't decide what to wear!!! Laugh it up! Go ahead. I know it's not very dramatic or life altering, but it's something every woman (and man if he admits it) deals with with alarming frequency. I tried on at least 5 different shirts and a few pairs of pants. Nothing I put on made me feel good. I was uncomforable. Each different outfit made me obsess about my tummy sticking out here, my sleeves being too short, it being too tight, or it being too baggy! AARRGGHH!!! I finally did settle on something that I was less than thrilled about wearing. I have to give a special thanks to my hubby for getting Polly ready for school, since I was too absorbed in my own vanity to worry about what she was wearing to school. I know you have all had similar mornings, but why was today different?
I have a new sister in Christ. She is soon to be moving to a new town, and I'm eager to help her get settled into a new church family so she will have the support she needs as she and her family transition. I can't tell you how excited I am to have her as my sister. She's had a hard path, and it was a long road that led her to the foot of the cross. It took a while for her to grasp the concept of grace. She was caught up in the world, and it's consequences. And, she was/is far from alone. We all get caught up in flesh. We want more stuff. We want to feel better. We harbor anger and resentment. And when we succumb to the world, we end up lost. We are unfulfilled. We are constantly searching for "it". The one thing. Only, we don't know what "the one thing" is.
When we're sick and doctors don't know what's wrong, they try different medications until a cure is found. Well, when we're caught up in the world and lost we try a lot of different ways to mask our distress. We feed away grief. We medicated away our emotional pains. We buy enough to hide our sorrow. We work to cover our inadequacies. No matter how hard we try, we find ourselves covered in sin. Filthy. Uncomfortable. We try again and again. New method after new method. But the results never change.
Fact is, no self medication can bring healing. We placate ourselves with temporary relief, but true healing comes from one place and one place only. Our heavenly father. Jehovah-Rophe. The Lord who heals. Remeber that feeling of finally slipping on the perfect dress? The one that feels so good it makes you smile? Not to mention it makes you look great too? The search is over. You can finally rest. Peace. Comfort. Joy. That's what awaits those who clothe themselves in our Saviour. We can stop looking for the magic cure or the perfect outfit, because we are healed. It doesn't take a miracle, or another trip to the shopping mall. All it takes is accepting the perfect love that was poured out to us through the perfect Son. Here are some of my favorite verses about the healing our God provides for His children. And here's my prayer for you all and hope that you find the perfect fit.
Proverbs 4:20-33, Psalm 107:19-21, Psalm 30:2, Isaiah 53:4-5, Psalm 147:3, Mat 9:20-22
I have a new sister in Christ. She is soon to be moving to a new town, and I'm eager to help her get settled into a new church family so she will have the support she needs as she and her family transition. I can't tell you how excited I am to have her as my sister. She's had a hard path, and it was a long road that led her to the foot of the cross. It took a while for her to grasp the concept of grace. She was caught up in the world, and it's consequences. And, she was/is far from alone. We all get caught up in flesh. We want more stuff. We want to feel better. We harbor anger and resentment. And when we succumb to the world, we end up lost. We are unfulfilled. We are constantly searching for "it". The one thing. Only, we don't know what "the one thing" is.
When we're sick and doctors don't know what's wrong, they try different medications until a cure is found. Well, when we're caught up in the world and lost we try a lot of different ways to mask our distress. We feed away grief. We medicated away our emotional pains. We buy enough to hide our sorrow. We work to cover our inadequacies. No matter how hard we try, we find ourselves covered in sin. Filthy. Uncomfortable. We try again and again. New method after new method. But the results never change.
Fact is, no self medication can bring healing. We placate ourselves with temporary relief, but true healing comes from one place and one place only. Our heavenly father. Jehovah-Rophe. The Lord who heals. Remeber that feeling of finally slipping on the perfect dress? The one that feels so good it makes you smile? Not to mention it makes you look great too? The search is over. You can finally rest. Peace. Comfort. Joy. That's what awaits those who clothe themselves in our Saviour. We can stop looking for the magic cure or the perfect outfit, because we are healed. It doesn't take a miracle, or another trip to the shopping mall. All it takes is accepting the perfect love that was poured out to us through the perfect Son. Here are some of my favorite verses about the healing our God provides for His children. And here's my prayer for you all and hope that you find the perfect fit.
Proverbs 4:20-33, Psalm 107:19-21, Psalm 30:2, Isaiah 53:4-5, Psalm 147:3, Mat 9:20-22
Friday, January 21, 2011
Won't you be my love
My desire is to live the love of Christ. But all to often I fail miserably. Look, I know Grace. I am a most grateful recipient. But, sometimes my small little mind just can't grasp the concept of getting something for nothing. So, I try to do more. Because, the more I do, the more I deserve what I get right???? Not only do I expect more from myself, by I project my expectations onto others. I know that's not the way it works, but sometimes it's hard to separate my lack of understanding from the truth. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is right? So here I am. Tired. Broken. Disappointed. Frustrated. Defeated. Angry. Not who I want to be. Not who I am called to be.
Today is Friday. I hit the alarm one time too many this morning. I just couldn't seem to get my engines going this morning. I fumbled through the process of getting ready, and made it to work on time, but my head was definitely not in the game. I was giving a test. That's a good thing, because It meant that I wouldn't have to repeat myself 1000 times, and still have people not hear me! I won't have to get mad because someone didn't have their homework. I wouldn't be rubbing my head or taking deep breaths to release some pressure. It's a test day. An easy day for the most part. I like to play music while the kids test, so I turned on one of my favorite bands. Have you ever played one of your favorite CD's and all of the sudden felt like you heard a song for the first time? Well, that's exactly what happened to me. I heard a song again for the first time. The song is by Mercy Me, and is called, "Won't You Be My Love." Here are some of the lyrics.
When you fall asleep tonight
In your warm and cozy room
Know that I'm awake
And I've got no shelter and no food
I am not alone
My friends are broke and lost
Looking for someone to lead them to my cross
I need your help, I need your help
Won't you be My voice calling
Won't you be My hands healing
Won't you be My feet walking into a broken world
Won't you be My chain-breaker
Won't you be My peacemaker
Won't you be My hope and joy
Won't you be My Love
It hit me like a ton of bricks! Even with all of my efforts, I am failing to share the most important thing of all. God did not ask me to do anything that he didn't do first. He isn't asking me to end world hunger, bring world pease, or cure cancer. All He's asking me to do is love. It sounds so simple, but it's so easy to lose focus. Our vision gets skewed by our own lack of understanding. Just like it's hard for us to accept God's love for the free gift that it is, it's hard for us to love freely. We like to attach regulations and expectations. So our love is no longer free. It is conditional. It is fleeting. That's why this song hit me so hard I think. It reminded me that we are not to share love born of ourselves, but to share the love of Christ. I'm not talking about a gushy, sweet, gooey kind of love. I'm talking about the love of a father. A love that gives everything but expects nothing in return. A love that comforts and heals, guides, and protects. A love that has no cost because it's value is immeasureable.
So, here's the truth. Love really does conquer all. When we allow ourselves to love freely, we are in turn freed from our anger and frustrations. I don't understand it. And that's okay. I just need to accept His love for the gift that it is. And can you imagine a greater gift? A more powerful or precious gift? It's a love that not only stands the test of time, but a love that is timeless. A love that ultimately overcame death and offers life. Not just eternal life, but life now. Hope now. Purpose now. How can we keep a gift like that to ourselves?
Some of my favorite verses/chapters about love: 1 Corintians 13, Colossians 3:14, 1 Peter 4:8, 1John 3:16-18, 1 John 4:8, John 15:13
Today is Friday. I hit the alarm one time too many this morning. I just couldn't seem to get my engines going this morning. I fumbled through the process of getting ready, and made it to work on time, but my head was definitely not in the game. I was giving a test. That's a good thing, because It meant that I wouldn't have to repeat myself 1000 times, and still have people not hear me! I won't have to get mad because someone didn't have their homework. I wouldn't be rubbing my head or taking deep breaths to release some pressure. It's a test day. An easy day for the most part. I like to play music while the kids test, so I turned on one of my favorite bands. Have you ever played one of your favorite CD's and all of the sudden felt like you heard a song for the first time? Well, that's exactly what happened to me. I heard a song again for the first time. The song is by Mercy Me, and is called, "Won't You Be My Love." Here are some of the lyrics.
When you fall asleep tonight
In your warm and cozy room
Know that I'm awake
And I've got no shelter and no food
I am not alone
My friends are broke and lost
Looking for someone to lead them to my cross
I need your help, I need your help
Won't you be My voice calling
Won't you be My hands healing
Won't you be My feet walking into a broken world
Won't you be My chain-breaker
Won't you be My peacemaker
Won't you be My hope and joy
Won't you be My Love
It hit me like a ton of bricks! Even with all of my efforts, I am failing to share the most important thing of all. God did not ask me to do anything that he didn't do first. He isn't asking me to end world hunger, bring world pease, or cure cancer. All He's asking me to do is love. It sounds so simple, but it's so easy to lose focus. Our vision gets skewed by our own lack of understanding. Just like it's hard for us to accept God's love for the free gift that it is, it's hard for us to love freely. We like to attach regulations and expectations. So our love is no longer free. It is conditional. It is fleeting. That's why this song hit me so hard I think. It reminded me that we are not to share love born of ourselves, but to share the love of Christ. I'm not talking about a gushy, sweet, gooey kind of love. I'm talking about the love of a father. A love that gives everything but expects nothing in return. A love that comforts and heals, guides, and protects. A love that has no cost because it's value is immeasureable.
So, here's the truth. Love really does conquer all. When we allow ourselves to love freely, we are in turn freed from our anger and frustrations. I don't understand it. And that's okay. I just need to accept His love for the gift that it is. And can you imagine a greater gift? A more powerful or precious gift? It's a love that not only stands the test of time, but a love that is timeless. A love that ultimately overcame death and offers life. Not just eternal life, but life now. Hope now. Purpose now. How can we keep a gift like that to ourselves?
Some of my favorite verses/chapters about love: 1 Corintians 13, Colossians 3:14, 1 Peter 4:8, 1John 3:16-18, 1 John 4:8, John 15:13
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Peace Out!
Hello there! Welcom back! Yes, I'm talking to you, (and me too). I feel like a owe you somewhat of an explanation for my delay in writing. The beginning of this school year was rather difficult for me. The loss of my precious grandmother was something I was not emotionally prepared for, and her death had a profound effect of me just as her life did. Our church was experiencing the aftershocks of some very difficult changes . I know those issues may not seem as monumental as they felt, but it was not the way I planned on starting my year. To top it off, my firstborn, Polly Kate, started Kindergarten! How did that happen? Where have the last five years gone?
In the hustle and bustle of life, I think I've gotten off track. I felt emotionally overwhelmed and physically drained. Instead of trying to ground myself in Christ's love, I got caught up. We get ahead of ourselves. We get lost in the struggle. By the time we realize what's happening, we're stuck in the web of complacency.
When we realize where we are, we often try to simplify our lives by removing distractions. The problem is, we often don't remove the true obstacles. When I was tired, I decided that I should get more sleep. Seems logical right? But, instead of going to bed earlier, I found myself hitting the snooze and sacrificing my quiet time with the Prince of Peace. That name should mean something to us. It is significant. I can't tell you how much of an impact it made when I shared the first fruits of my day with Jesus. My time of peace with him each morning kept me centered throughout the day. But my neglect of that time robbed me of my peace. I was tense and irritable. Instead of molding my day around our time together, I found myself trying to squeeze God into my free time. Between school, dinner, baths, Jewelry, books, music lessons, etc. Turns out, I don't have any free time!
There is a light at the end of this tunnel. Regardless of how I tried to shut him out. God's love never failed me. I was never alone, even when I tried to convince myself of such. We all get off track. Different circumstances may breed turmoil, but the results are the same. This feeling of of suffocation, wondering where our next breath will come from. The need for harmony, order, and reconciliation can only lead us back to the Prince of Peace.
And what better time of year to help bring things into perspective. Christ was a marked man from birth. Our fleeting problems cannot even begin to compare to his struggles. A life of duress. Yet, the man who was maked for death, overcame and offers life. His birth wasn't just a display of the miracle of life. His birth made the miracle of love possible. In that love, lies the peace we seek so desperately. A peace that comes when we stop trying so hard to attain it.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
In the hustle and bustle of life, I think I've gotten off track. I felt emotionally overwhelmed and physically drained. Instead of trying to ground myself in Christ's love, I got caught up. We get ahead of ourselves. We get lost in the struggle. By the time we realize what's happening, we're stuck in the web of complacency.
When we realize where we are, we often try to simplify our lives by removing distractions. The problem is, we often don't remove the true obstacles. When I was tired, I decided that I should get more sleep. Seems logical right? But, instead of going to bed earlier, I found myself hitting the snooze and sacrificing my quiet time with the Prince of Peace. That name should mean something to us. It is significant. I can't tell you how much of an impact it made when I shared the first fruits of my day with Jesus. My time of peace with him each morning kept me centered throughout the day. But my neglect of that time robbed me of my peace. I was tense and irritable. Instead of molding my day around our time together, I found myself trying to squeeze God into my free time. Between school, dinner, baths, Jewelry, books, music lessons, etc. Turns out, I don't have any free time!
There is a light at the end of this tunnel. Regardless of how I tried to shut him out. God's love never failed me. I was never alone, even when I tried to convince myself of such. We all get off track. Different circumstances may breed turmoil, but the results are the same. This feeling of of suffocation, wondering where our next breath will come from. The need for harmony, order, and reconciliation can only lead us back to the Prince of Peace.
And what better time of year to help bring things into perspective. Christ was a marked man from birth. Our fleeting problems cannot even begin to compare to his struggles. A life of duress. Yet, the man who was maked for death, overcame and offers life. His birth wasn't just a display of the miracle of life. His birth made the miracle of love possible. In that love, lies the peace we seek so desperately. A peace that comes when we stop trying so hard to attain it.
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Drinkin' Salsa
Summertime brings with it a few certainties. Sunshine, heat, more heat, swimming pools, watermelon, and our garden. And every year, my husband asks for fresh homemade salsa from our garden veggies. So, I obliged and made him a giant bowl of salsa last week. And it was good! Please don't think I'm tooting my own horn here, but all of those sweet/tangy tomatoes, peppers, onions...there's no way it could have been bad. Anyways, Logan saw the salsa and asked for his own bowl and some chips to dip. Again, I obliged, and Logan set forth on his mission to devour the chips and salsa. A few minutes later, he came back and asked for more salsa. I filled his bowl but noticed that he still had lots of chips. When I looked back over, Logan wasn't bothering to dip his chips, he was just drinking the salsa! It was too cute, and sure made his daddy proud!
After I finished laughing at my little man, I got to thinking. You know, there were some pretty hot peppers in that salsa. I even warned him that the green peppers might be too hot for him to eat. Maybe it would be best if he didn't eat those. He may have followed my advice for a few minutes, but his worry was soon overtaken by the goodness of the salsa. And despite the risk, he just couldn't get enough. Green peppers and all.
As Christians, why don't we drink Jesus in like Logan drank his salsa? Why is it that we are often perfectly content to dip our chips. Of course we need a little Jesus to get to heaven, but let's not get carried away, right? I mean, what about those green peppers? We want our Jesus in small manageable doses. We're so scared of losing control that we miss the full goodness of his love and service. We speak of faith, but won't eat the green peppers. We work hard to appear righteous, so we take a dip in Jesus. Never giving up control, never fully trusting. The salsa still tastes pretty good, but we're not truly experiencing all of the flavors. We may even tell others about this great tasting salsa. But, just like I warned Logan about the pepers, sometimes we hurt our witness by limiting God's love. I don't think we do it consciously, but it happens just the same.
So what do we do then? Drink up. Stop worrying about burning our mouths on the peppers. Isn't that where the flavor comes from anyways? When we give up this false sense of control, we learn what it means to live in the love of Christ. And when we drink Him in, others see Him in us. Not merely in our empty words, but in our lives. They see him in our actions, in our gestures, in our words(though often not intentionally), and in our love for those who need. When we drink him in, there is joy, peace, and harmony. When we drink Him in, there are no limits or fear, just complete goodness. And, I'm so thankful that no matter how much I consume, I'll never run out, and never stop wanting more. So, fill 'er up! It's good I promise!
After I finished laughing at my little man, I got to thinking. You know, there were some pretty hot peppers in that salsa. I even warned him that the green peppers might be too hot for him to eat. Maybe it would be best if he didn't eat those. He may have followed my advice for a few minutes, but his worry was soon overtaken by the goodness of the salsa. And despite the risk, he just couldn't get enough. Green peppers and all.
As Christians, why don't we drink Jesus in like Logan drank his salsa? Why is it that we are often perfectly content to dip our chips. Of course we need a little Jesus to get to heaven, but let's not get carried away, right? I mean, what about those green peppers? We want our Jesus in small manageable doses. We're so scared of losing control that we miss the full goodness of his love and service. We speak of faith, but won't eat the green peppers. We work hard to appear righteous, so we take a dip in Jesus. Never giving up control, never fully trusting. The salsa still tastes pretty good, but we're not truly experiencing all of the flavors. We may even tell others about this great tasting salsa. But, just like I warned Logan about the pepers, sometimes we hurt our witness by limiting God's love. I don't think we do it consciously, but it happens just the same.
So what do we do then? Drink up. Stop worrying about burning our mouths on the peppers. Isn't that where the flavor comes from anyways? When we give up this false sense of control, we learn what it means to live in the love of Christ. And when we drink Him in, others see Him in us. Not merely in our empty words, but in our lives. They see him in our actions, in our gestures, in our words(though often not intentionally), and in our love for those who need. When we drink him in, there is joy, peace, and harmony. When we drink Him in, there are no limits or fear, just complete goodness. And, I'm so thankful that no matter how much I consume, I'll never run out, and never stop wanting more. So, fill 'er up! It's good I promise!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Reflections of Love
I have been debating wheter or not to write about this, because I know my words will not be adequate. But, I know that I have to try, because that's what she would have wanted.
I believe that there is beauty to be found in all things. But, every once in a while, God creates something greater. Something that is capable of so much more than you or me. Something Angelic. That's exactly what he did the day he breathed the breath of life into my grandmother Polly. He sent one of His angels to dwell among us. Her life on Earth may be gone, but her spirit of love will live in the lives of those she touched.
I'm blessed. I've spent 31 amazing years being touched by my grandmother's love. Even though they lived an hour away, my mom made sure we visitied at least every other week. In the summers, I would basically go live with my grandma and grandpa. Grandma would make huge pallets on the floor for me and all of my cousins to sleep on when we would visit. We would always stay up talking until grandpa would come in and holler at us to be quiet!!! In the morning, we would wake to a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast. After breakfast, grandma would head to the sewing room to work on her latest project. I say projects, but I should say masterpieces. I've never known anyone with such a creative eye. She always knew exactly what colors were needed to make the perfect quilt or to paint the perfect picture. She was an amazing artist. Lunch was another full course meal. We ate in the living room while grandma watched her shows. Then back to sewing or maybe a nap. At five o'clock, we would eat dinner. Pop ate at the bar and watched Wheel of Fortune while we all ate at the table and played games. Upwords was one of her favorites. She taught me every card game I know. Spades, Canasta, and she loved to play old Saul...otherwise known Solitaire. I remember one particular time we were playing dominoes. She was beating my socks off, which happened quite frequently. When it came to games, she showed no mercy. After beating me horribly several games in a row, she gently patted my hand and in her softest voice said, "oh honey, you'll do better next time." When we got to loud playing games, pop would turn the tv volume waaaay up, to let us know we were too loud, but grandma would just smile and giggle. She loved being with us, almost as much as we loved being with her. We used to pick up rocks along the road when we would take walks together. After my daughter was born, she surprised me by giving me some of the rocks she had saved from our walks. It was always the littlest things that brought her the most joy. While doing my student teaching, I lived with my grandparents. During that time, our relationship began to change. We went from being just a grandmother and granddaughter, to being great friends.
As I grew up in her love, I began to learn things about life that must be shown not told. You know, in the 31 years of my life, I cannot recall one single instance where she complained or spoke harshly of someone. Not one single time. She never wasted a minute of life. She was always busy and faced each day with a smile on her face. If you ever asked her how she was, she was "fine", even when she wasn't. One of my favorite pictures of her was coming out of a doctors appointment after learning that her cancer had returned. Her smile was indescribable. She was absolutely glowing. My grandma also led me in a great deal of spiritual growth. I loved to sit with her in church and rub her hands. Just like her spirit and her smile, they were incredibly soft. I loved to listen to her prayers, becuase her words were so beautiful. She truly knew her heavenly father. She was always so thankful for what she had. Even when it was little or difficult. I know God waited anxiously to hear from her each day.
Galatians 5:22-23 was written about my grandma. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." She exemplified each one of these virtues every moment of her life. Her relationship with God was such that her spirit was one with His. Her needs were never put above those of anyone else. She loved endlessly. She shared Jesus. Not with her words. It wasn't necessary. She shared Jesus by sharing his love with others. If you met her, then you felt the love of God. You were changed.
I am truly blessed. I am blessed to have been loved by my grandma Polly. I am blessed with countless memories of her grace and joy. I am blessed to have beautiful family and a daughter that bears her name. I was blessed to know her spirit, and I live witht he hope that I will be blessed to meet her again.
I believe that there is beauty to be found in all things. But, every once in a while, God creates something greater. Something that is capable of so much more than you or me. Something Angelic. That's exactly what he did the day he breathed the breath of life into my grandmother Polly. He sent one of His angels to dwell among us. Her life on Earth may be gone, but her spirit of love will live in the lives of those she touched.
I'm blessed. I've spent 31 amazing years being touched by my grandmother's love. Even though they lived an hour away, my mom made sure we visitied at least every other week. In the summers, I would basically go live with my grandma and grandpa. Grandma would make huge pallets on the floor for me and all of my cousins to sleep on when we would visit. We would always stay up talking until grandpa would come in and holler at us to be quiet!!! In the morning, we would wake to a breakfast of eggs, bacon, and toast. After breakfast, grandma would head to the sewing room to work on her latest project. I say projects, but I should say masterpieces. I've never known anyone with such a creative eye. She always knew exactly what colors were needed to make the perfect quilt or to paint the perfect picture. She was an amazing artist. Lunch was another full course meal. We ate in the living room while grandma watched her shows. Then back to sewing or maybe a nap. At five o'clock, we would eat dinner. Pop ate at the bar and watched Wheel of Fortune while we all ate at the table and played games. Upwords was one of her favorites. She taught me every card game I know. Spades, Canasta, and she loved to play old Saul...otherwise known Solitaire. I remember one particular time we were playing dominoes. She was beating my socks off, which happened quite frequently. When it came to games, she showed no mercy. After beating me horribly several games in a row, she gently patted my hand and in her softest voice said, "oh honey, you'll do better next time." When we got to loud playing games, pop would turn the tv volume waaaay up, to let us know we were too loud, but grandma would just smile and giggle. She loved being with us, almost as much as we loved being with her. We used to pick up rocks along the road when we would take walks together. After my daughter was born, she surprised me by giving me some of the rocks she had saved from our walks. It was always the littlest things that brought her the most joy. While doing my student teaching, I lived with my grandparents. During that time, our relationship began to change. We went from being just a grandmother and granddaughter, to being great friends.
As I grew up in her love, I began to learn things about life that must be shown not told. You know, in the 31 years of my life, I cannot recall one single instance where she complained or spoke harshly of someone. Not one single time. She never wasted a minute of life. She was always busy and faced each day with a smile on her face. If you ever asked her how she was, she was "fine", even when she wasn't. One of my favorite pictures of her was coming out of a doctors appointment after learning that her cancer had returned. Her smile was indescribable. She was absolutely glowing. My grandma also led me in a great deal of spiritual growth. I loved to sit with her in church and rub her hands. Just like her spirit and her smile, they were incredibly soft. I loved to listen to her prayers, becuase her words were so beautiful. She truly knew her heavenly father. She was always so thankful for what she had. Even when it was little or difficult. I know God waited anxiously to hear from her each day.
Galatians 5:22-23 was written about my grandma. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." She exemplified each one of these virtues every moment of her life. Her relationship with God was such that her spirit was one with His. Her needs were never put above those of anyone else. She loved endlessly. She shared Jesus. Not with her words. It wasn't necessary. She shared Jesus by sharing his love with others. If you met her, then you felt the love of God. You were changed.
I am truly blessed. I am blessed to have been loved by my grandma Polly. I am blessed with countless memories of her grace and joy. I am blessed to have beautiful family and a daughter that bears her name. I was blessed to know her spirit, and I live witht he hope that I will be blessed to meet her again.
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